Frustrated

I spent the entire day working with the BMV trying to get an IN driver's license without success. This would be humorous if it wasn't true. It is a vicious cycle, I need an IN license in order to report that I had insurance for an accident that happened in 2002, but I can't get an IN license without clearing up that 2002 accident. I can't register to vote without an IN driver's license or IN identification. We had our house closing so I can't claim ID residency. None of my problems had anything to do with being hit by the sheriff last month, but I suspect when that is processed through the system that will also be a problem.

Ram also had difficulty getting an IN driver's license but his problem should be solved in a few days and was no where near as complicated as my difficulty. It may be a blessing that we don't have to choose which presidential candidate to vote for this year, but this is not the way that we would have chosen.

Tomorrow is a new day and we will try to work with the voter's registration to see what we can do before the deadline next Tuesday. And our insurance agent is trying to clear up the 2002 accident for me and currently I just need to wait a few business days to see if he was successful or what I can do if he was not successful.

No laundry, dishes, unpacking, or other important tasks happened today while both Ram and I worked to try to solve my problem. Sigh. Please join us in prayers that this can be solved for both of us before we have been residents of IN for 60 days and we have even bigger problems.

I'm ready to stop this trend...

Our family attended another funeral today. Our Lambs were well behaved. This was a long time friend of Ram's family. His mom asked us to attend if possible to represent our family since it was in our area.

Although it was not a Lutheran funeral, it was a beautiful service. Everyone that spoke reminded us that not only was she a kind woman, but she was able to do what she did in her life because of Jesus. On her deathbed she was naming people she knew that were not Christians and encouraged her family to keep working on them so she can see them in heaven some day. Many shared stories of how wonderful she was, but the overall theme of the funeral was To God Alone Be the Glory. We only sang one hymn, Be Still My Soul fit very well.

During the reception the family and friends that talked to us knew Ram and some also knew me (probably from Christmas card photos) and also they knew Lamb 1's name because he is named after his uncle. Then we had to introduce Lamb 2 and Lamb 3.

I did not want to attend funerals two Thursdays in a row and the Lambs wanted to attend even less. But I knew that it was important for our family to go to both funerals. It was a great reminder with Holy Week in the middle. We don't know when our last days on earth are. We praise God that we know that we will see our loved ones in heaven again.

S.D.G.

Spending the Holidays with Family

I wrote this some time ago, but I am publishing it now as it fits this season.

The first Christmas after we were married we went to my in-laws. This was the last Christmas before my husband was an ordained pastor, which meant it was the last Christmas we could be away from home on Christmas Day.

I remember that Christmas like it was yesterday even though it was 13 years ago. I don’t have any brothers and my husband doesn’t have any sisters, so it was a learning experience for all of us for me to be the only female among the “kids” that were home that year.

I also remember going to the cemetery that Christmas. Ram and his younger brother shoveled a pathway in the snow so we could reach his older brother’s grave. We even set the camera to take a family photo at the cemetery. We had no idea then that the following Christmas Ram’s younger brother would also have a gravestone marking his place.  

I have a little advice to share that I have learned in my 14 years of marriage.

1.  Don’t take your family for granted. I have so many friends that can’t stand their MIL or some other family member. They dread family visits. I am blessed that I have so much in common with my MIL (such as we both had 3 sons). We just don’t know when our last Christmas will be with the family members that we spend this Christmas. Thank God for your family even if they drive you crazy some times.

2. Don’t leave on bad terms. Because of what I wrote in #1, if you have an argument or say something you shouldn’t have said when you are with family, please ask for forgiveness before you leave (or your family members leave). Looking back I wish I would have played a few more card games and spent a little more time with my geeky brother-in-law that only Christmas that we spent together.

3. Take care of necessary business now. We don’t know when our last Christmas will be. Are your children baptized? Have you written a Will? Do you have life insurance? Ram and I updated our Will last summer. If you can't do this business during this busy season, schedule time to do it in January. 

4.  If you are unable to spend holidays with your family, try to do traditions you can do long distance. Recently we have been unable to spend Christmas with anyone on my side of the family. We ship boxes with presents with items we think they would enjoy or they need. We talk on the phone with them. Some years we Skype with them. When we have been unable to spend Christmas with my in-laws, we had crepes and lingonberries at our house just like they had at their house. I know of families that celebrate Christmas in July when everyone is able to get home.

5. If you are grieving for a family member, do the holiday traditions that you want to do and remember that you don’t have to do the ones that are too difficult for you. Ram’s family still hangs 5 stockings on the fireplace.  I have purchased ornaments to remember our miscarried babies, but I just can’t remove them from the boxes and hang them on the tree yet.

6. Talk to your children about your family members that have gone to heaven before us. My children will never know these two uncles. Even though it often brings tears, we try to talk about them and share pictures and family stories with our children. They should know about these family members even though they never met them.

7. Attend church regularly. When you are at the communion rail you will be with your loved ones and the whole company of heaven.

8. Treasure the people you do spend holidays with. Whether you spend the holidays with a whole bunch of people, just your spouse, or a few friends, enjoy it. Try not to be so busy with cooking and dishes and decorations to spend time with those people. You won’t regret sitting and chatting with them while you are together!