Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Laugh or Cry? Laugh.

I have mentioned before that after all my miscarriages it is difficult for me to go to any kind of doctors now. Even routine doctor visits need to bring this up. For example my eye doctor has to continue to keep me on eye drops for my allergies that are safe for pregnancy. Ram allows me to get a Starbucks after every doctor visit because of this. :)

I also have mentioned that we are trying to fit in all our doctor visits before the end of the year since we met our deductible. I recently had to see a male doctor because my female doctor wasn't available the day of my appointment. He had never met me before and he was having trouble getting my record to come up on the computer. So we began a short conversation while he waited on the computer. I tried to briefly tell my history.

Dr.:"Frankly, that's AMAZING that you got pregnant naturally so often in your late thirties and even at age 40!"
(These were the first words he spoke to me after hearing my history. The expression on his face was priceless. I could tell he would love to take me to a conference to show off an "old" woman that was still getting pregnant naturally so often.)

Dr. continues:"You must have a lot of eggs in there. We just don't see this often in our practice."
(This got me to an interesting thought-all the months that I haven't menstruated because I was breastfeeding, pregnant with the Lambs, or pregnant with miscarriages have added up. It may be years before menopause for me!)

I briefly described how I was doing emotionally with the help of  going to the He Remembers the Barren Retreat last summer. The doctor was very interested in the He Remembers the Barren book and I plan to give one to him next time I go to that doctor. He was especially interested that I have a "network" of people to talk to that also have infertility problems. I mentioned that I had never met another woman that had as many miscarriages as I have had.

Dr.: "I've never seen anyone that has had as many miscarriages as you have had."
(This doctor's specialty is infertility. That got me to another thought-most women would try to prevent pregnancy after this many miscarriages or at my age. They would either have a medical need for an hysterectomy, do some form of birth control, or try IVF or other fertility procedures. To do nothing to either prevent pregnancy or try to conceive is so different from most women my age.
Also, this is not a new thought for me, but I think that previous generations probably had a lot more miscarriages than they were aware of before home pregnancy tests. My generation is both blessed and cursed with home pregnancy tests.)

My morals and values just aren't typical at this practice, but I don't know without traveling outside of ID whom else to see. I have been blessed with three boys. I don't want to do anything extraordinary to have another baby. My problem is not getting pregnant, it is staying pregnant. I originally went to this practice with the hope that they could save some of my babies that became miscarriages. Doctors don't know everything and they tell me after each miscarriage that I can't do anything else unless it is controlled under conditions like IVF. They don't know what to do with me because I get pregnant under conditions they can't control.

I left his office after my appointment just bursting to tell Ram what had happened. I have shed so many tears that at this point I love to see the humorous side of this. In the doctor's words-It is AMAZING that I was pregnant at age 40 and I have a lot of eggs in there! It was a blessing that my regular doctor wasn't available that day so I had a humorous doctor visit.

*Note: I am not currently pregnant. This was discussing my previous history.


Jody said...

Am I reading this right? Are you expecting?

Katie said...

I like you, friend.

I just wanted you to know. :)