Monday, November 18, 2013


On Thursday I received a phone call from the nurse of the doctor I have gone to after my last few miscarriages. I had to ask her to repeat which doctor's office she was calling from when she called. I would have expected a phone call from one of Lamb 2's doctors, but not a phone call from my doctor that I haven't seen for several months.
When I finally figured out who was calling, I asked why she was calling. The were just calling to check on me. I replied that I was fine and I would contact them if I needed them.
When I hung up the phone, I was puzzled if they were calling because they were truly concerned about me or if they want my business if I become more aggressive in trying to have a baby. I still don't know the answer to that. They never called me before as a follow up after previous miscarriages, so I doubt the former is the reason. I refuse to become as they would say "more aggressive in my approach to having a baby" for moral reasons so if the latter is the reason, they aren't going to make money off of me. Or perhaps my turning 40 last week made them call me? When I first saw this doctor I was 38 and she said I would want to be very aggressive in trying to have a baby before I turned 40. She didn't like my answer then that I was trying to prevent more miscarriages, and since it is the Lord that gives children, I can not try or not try to have babies.
I am still a little shaken by that phone call. It was not helpful in my journey of grief. I am mentally/spiritually/physically fine after all my miscarriages. But what if I wasn't when I received that phone call?
Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.

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