Year in Review-June 2017

Photo credit: Steve Blakey
Lamb 2 (on right) began being an acolyte

Lamb 1 did a rowing camp for a week. The weather was rainy all week so they weren't able to go out on the water every day. But he loved the days that he was able to.  I am so glad they allowed middle schoolers to do this. He may be on the crew team in high school.

Photo Credit: Hyde Brothers Booksellers Facebook Page
We went to the 25th anniversary Midnight sale at Hyde Brothers. We ended up not being able to attend the Christmas midnight sale so I'm glad everyone in the family was able to pick something out this time.

Katie's book was released and I bought a copy of The Harvest Raise. If you haven't read the Anthems of Zion, you really need to!

Lamb 2 and 3 did a week long choir camp. The director was one of my sister's grade school teachers. The Lambs weren't thrilled about choir, but it accomplished my goal of giving them the basics.

On the last day of choir camp my parents and our family attended a small concert where they showed what they learned. It was amazing what they learned in one week. We found out they had attended camp all week with a distant cousin when my mom saw her cousin at the concert.

We went to visit my sister a few weeks after she moved to St. Louis. 

My brother-in-law was anxious to go to the City Museum with his nephews. There were a lot of slides and fun stuff to do. 

We all rode the Ferris wheel up on the roof at the City Museum.

The Lambs had fun at a city park.

Ram and Ewe with Pinocchio.

As a lifelong Lutheran, I had never been to the LCMS headquarters. We loved having a tour of the International Center. I got copies of this photo for our Christmas cards that I still haven't sent.

Aaron works at the International Center. He was in kindergarten my first year of teaching.

Lutherans with CFW Walther

Our tour guide had only given a few tours before our tour. Rev. Harrison was Senior pastor at the church where I began teaching. He is now the Synodical President. The tour guide was surprised when Rev. Harrison invited us into his office and spent about 20 minutes with us. We were very grateful for him to take time out of his busy schedule to visit with us. Ram was excited to see all his books!

I was the country mouse going to downtown St. Louis. I told Rev. Harrison that I did not sleep my first night in the city because of all the city noises. He joked that I should go to Stanley's and smoke a cigar and I would sleep well the second night in the city. I didn't smoke a cigar, but we had to stop by for a photo after that!

We all had to pound the gavel in the Board of Directors room. My brother-in-law had the most fun. I tried to think of important decisions that have been made in that room for the good of the LCMS.

It was interesting to see the KFUO station and they were generous enough to give us a bunch of swag which we shared with my dad as he often listens to KFUO.

 

 

Lamb 1 and 2 did two weeks of basketball camp. I wasn't fast enough to get a better photo of Lamb 2 getting his participation award.

We were very proud of Lamb 1 for winning Best Attitude award at basketball camp this year. They only gave a few boys out of the approximately 100 attending an award.

Lamb 2 was sick on his birthday so he never made a cake. He made a cake for his baptism anniversary.

Between pictures and singing Happy Birthday, more M&Ms and candles in variegated  colors were added.

A friend from ID came to an organist workshop at the Seminary so we spent an afternoon together .

Lamb 2 did a tennis camp. I thought it was a week long camp and planned to go early on the last day and take pictures of Lamb 2. When I went to pick him up on Thursday, he told me that was the last day of camp. Oops! At least I found out then instead of taking him on Friday! He really enjoyed tennis and I think he might have found a sport he can really enjoy for the rest of his life.

Photo Credit: Steve Blakey
Winston was the first son of our congregation to be baptized and ordained at our church in 125 years. Ram was a pastor giving a blessing at the ordination and Lamb 1 was an acolyte.

Lamb 1 and Winston on a different day than his ordination.

Winston's mom was a teacher at the school when I began teaching. We hadn't seen each other in many years.

Winston was in 4th grade when I began teaching. He was Lamb 2 and 3's Sunday School teacher last year.

I got a print of the cover of the new edition of He Remembers the Barren. I had it framed, but we aren't hanging up pictures in our rental house. I am looking forward to getting a permanent home and hanging it. The symbolism on this print is beautiful and meaningful.

The Lambs have enjoyed playing with my dad's old erector set. I'm not sure why Lamb 2 doesn't have a shirt on other than it was hot?

A better picture of the bulbs that I brought from ID and planted at my mom's when they were in full bloom.

Lamb 2 and I picked strawberries. Too much rain made it an awful year for Indiana strawberries. We spent a long time picking a few berries. I don't know if Lamb 2 will ever want to pick strawberries again. We ate a few fresh and I barely had enough to make one batch of jam. Hopefully next year will be better strawberries.

Confirmation Day Sermon

If we would have remained in MN, there would have been one other boy in Lamb 1's confirmation class. When we moved to ID, one of the first members I met was very excited that Lamb 1 would be in her daughter's confirmation class. Lamb 1 and that girl  did do their first year of confirmation class together in ID. If we would have remained in ID, they would have been confirmed together on Palm Sunday of this year.

When we moved here we hurried to get Lamb 1 enrolled in first communion class and eventually confirmation class at what became our new church. In fact he attended his first class while we were unloading the moving truck. He worked hard to memorize the catechism with meanings this year. He passed the pastor's questioning session easily after all that memorization. At that examination session, it was obvious that Lamb 1 had not just memorized the catechism, but he was able to answer questions that applied that memorized knowledge. He was confident in his knowledge and not nervous about this questioning.

Lamb 1's confirmation class here had several children in it, but only one other boy was ready to be confirmed. The other children including Lamb 2 and Lamb 3 will return next year and continue working on memorization and learning from our pastors on Saturday mornings. It is our goal that Lamb 2 and 3 attend class and memorize the catechism with meanings and are both confirmed next spring. Our church does not have a set age for confirmation, it is when the child has completed their memory work and pastor and the parents agree that they are ready for confirmation. If Lamb 2 or Lamb 3 are not ready next spring, they will continue confirmation classes at church until they are ready.

Our family has been through a lot in the last few years. When he was a child, Lamb 1 expected to be confirmed in MN, then he completed one year of confirmation class in ID, and then he moved to IN and did all that they required for confirmation class in one year. A few months ago he was stuck on the meanings of the Lord's Prayer and worried that he wouldn't complete the memory work in time. We continued to work on it daily and he learned everything required in time. This move has been a difficult transition for our Lambs. It is slowly getting better for the Lambs, but it's a struggle to not be homesick for their way of life in ID.

The pastor's sermon was really meaningful for me. You can listen to or read the sermon HERE. At first I started to squirm in my seat a little as he talked about the comparison between what Christians suffer and childbirth. He was preaching from the text. I admit that I am very sensitive to this because of my secondary infertility. Amazingly, Pastor did get to the point and even remembered barren women! It was a great reminder for me, especially as Lamb 1's mom, of what confirmation is all about. All that memory work was for Lamb 1's benefit as he fights battles throughout his life against Satan.

Photo credit: Steve Blakey, our church photographer

I have never heard a confirmation sermon like this one before. I won't try to sum up his sermon here, because I want you to listen to or read it!

I will post more about Lamb 1's confirmation soon.

Podcast of the day

Today I listened to a podcast by two of my favorite authors, Katie Schuermann and Cheryl Swope. I highly recommend listening to the podcast HERE. Segments apply to those with children with special needs, mothers, single women, barren women, writers, and homeschoolers.

Full disclosure: I did contribute to Eternal Treasures by Cheryl Swope. I gained so much from Cheryl from the few necessary e-mails for that contribution. Cheryl was so encouraging about Lamb 2's academic journey. This podcast is encouragement from both authors!

The Good Shepherd and His Lambs

At the He Remembers the Barren Retreat last July, we attended Emmaus Lutheran Church together on Sunday morning before we parted ways to begin our journeys home. I snapped this picture of one of their stained glass windows. I liked it because the title of my blog is from the hymn, I am Jesus Little Lamb.

My friend, Heather, reminded me of this beautiful scene. Jesus is holding our lambs that have gone to heaven before we do. The ewes are at Jesus' feet.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day. It is bittersweet that our family has added two little lambs to heaven since this day last year. I looked back over my blog on this date the past few years: 2009, 2011, and 2012.

Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:16

Today I included in my prayers both my friends that I know personally are affected and also those whom I do not know. I also prayed for their families including their husbands, parents, siblings, and other children. I prayed for women with fertility problems; who have had a miscarriage or an infant die; and those that have had an abortion.  I prayed for my 9 sisters in Christ that I met at the He Remembers the Barren Retreat this summer. I prayed that all women affected by pregnancy and infant loss get the peace that passes all understanding through Christ.

Denied because Barren

I read in the Thrivent magazine that they offer disability insurance to SAHM. This sounded like something smart for me to get. We live far from my side of the family and Ram's dad isn't retired yet so his parents couldn't come help us much. If I had a disability for a few weeks our church members would help out. But if I had a long term disability we would have a difficult time. It would be nice then to have dollars to pay someone to do some housekeeping and perhaps to send the Lambs to school if necessary.
So we asked our Thrivent rep. about it. It sounded like something useful for a few more years until the Lambs are older. He asked a bunch of health questions for the application. At first I thought compared to Ram having one kidney now, I haven't had anything in my health history to discuss. I've never had surgery. I don't take any prescription medications. But as he asked questions it began to become humorous-oh yes, I broke my foot a few years ago when I fell down the steps and I broke my finger too when it was smashed in the garage door. Oh yes, I had a thyroid biopsy a few years ago. No, I've never had pregnancy or birth complications. Oh yes, I've had 8 miscarriages. The Thrivent rep. said as he read the list of things that most of what he read was probably going to be things that I never heard of before. As he read the list of possible pregnancy complications, I knew what every single one was and most of them I could name a friend that had had that pregnancy complication!
The next week I received a phone call from Thrivent. She had a very specific list of questions to ask regarding my answers to my Thrivent rep. on my health history. When I tried to elaborate on the answers she asked me to just answer the question. She told me they were trying to not ask my doctor for records and get the info directly from me. But the answers to her questions did need to be elaborated on and she wouldn't let me. Yes, I had a thyroid biopsy a few years ago. It was all benign. I am closely monitored by a doctor for my thyroid, but no signs of thyroid cancer and no need to be on medication. Yes, I've had 8 miscarriages, but I've never had any pregnancy complications nor any birth complications. Do I know what is causing the miscarriages? I answered no. They know I have Factor II, but I've done what they told me to do during pregnancies because of Factor II and I've still had miscarriages. When I got off the phone with her I was frustrated because not only did she not listen to my answers, but my gut told me I was going to be denied coverage.
Next I received a bill from my thyroid doctor that I didn't understand. So I called billing for an explanation. I was being billed by my thyroid doctor for Thrivent inquiring information about me. So then I called my Thrivent rep. I learned then that I was on his list to call that day to tell me that Thrivent denied insurance coverage to me because of my health history. He is going to try to get reimbursement for the bill from the thyroid doctor from Thrivent. I can appeal their decision but it is very unlikely that I would "win" as they very rarely change their first decision.
I am not angry at my Thrivent rep. In fact he went above and beyond his duty for a little tiny policy. I am frustrated and angry that I was denied coverage though. As Ram and I discussed this, I wonder if I was on the pill if they would give me coverage because more pregnancies would be more unlikely.
I'm waiting for the Thrivent rep. to call me back to get more details. Perhaps the denial  is more about my thyroid and less about the miscarriages. I don't know. I may never know specifically why I was denied. Although it would have been nice to have, the Lambs are old enough now that I don't feel that we really NEEDED this insurance. But this is one more time that it feels like being punched in the stomach again for being barren. Being barren is so much more complicated than it seems. Not only do I not get another baby to hold, but I also have to answer questions from everyone including insurance people. Being barren is not something that I did or did not do like consequences there would be after smoking for many years before. After explaining everything as best as I could then I'm still denied coverage.
*Update: The letter I received from Thrivent said the reason I was denied coverage was all of the above reasons in my health history-Factor II, miscarriages, and thyroid nodules. I am not going to appeal this decision.