Wednesday, October 14, 2015

October 15

This photo is from one of my miscarriages. I have about 5 other photos just like it, some with more syringes, some with less.

The doctors I have seen in both MN and ID have all told me that I'm doing everything right and everything that they know is possible. I have taken prenatal vitamins every day since my wedding day. I have taken baby aspirin daily since I found out I have Factor II. Once I know I'm pregnant I begin twice a day heparin injections and also progesterone supplements. I continue all this until they are absolutely certain that I'm having another miscarriage, even though I often know it's a miscarriage weeks before I stop this routine.

Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it . The doctor told me back in 2011 that the chances of me having another baby were very very low even if I did everything they know to do. Heparin and progesterone cost a lot of money and recently insurance is paying for less than they did before. Remembering injections twice a day is difficult.

Then I remember that I'm doing this for one of my Lambs. I want to do everything possible to give my child a chance. That makes it all worth it. That makes me continue this whole routine each time I get a positive pregnancy test.

I long for the day that I will meet my other 11 Lambs. October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Not every pregnancy has a happy ending. Not every birth has a happy ending. Not every newborn has a happy ending. So I keep all those parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and siblings who have lost babies in my prayers today.

“Be near me, Lord Jesus: I ask Thee to stay

Close by me forever and love me, I pray.

Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care,

And take us to heaven to live with Thee there.”

LSB 364:3


Kristen @ Joyfully Thriving said...

I'm joining you in those prayers. Thank you for having the courage to speak up about the loss of miscarriage!

Jody said...

As painful as our miscarriages are, how amazing it is that we are given the opportunity to comfort others because of the painful bond we share! Thank you for the willingness you have to share your pain with others.

May I share a link to this post on my blog sometime?