This time of year brings lots of correspondence with family and friends both e-mail and snail mail Christmas cards. This correspondence is also a good time for friends to announce that they are pregnant. Some are due soon, they were too sick or too busy to write and announce they were pregnant before now. Others are due late summer, but they are sick enough that it doesn't look like it is going to be a miscarriage so they are announcing now.
Ram and I would love to have another child and it doesn't seem like that is God's will for us. I was a girly girl when I was little. I loved skirts and dresses, I don't think I ever wore pants to school before I was in third grade. I played with dolls and read girl books, no trucks or boy books. I had one sister, no brothers. I would love to give a granddaughter and great granddaughter to Ram's mom and grandma that never had a daughter. So it seems so ironic that I'm the only female in our family. We would like another child no matter if it was a girl or a boy.
I did dress the Lambs in some of Ram's baby clothes and take photos. But one of my greatest sadnesses is that we don't have a girl to wear my baby dresses or a girl to wear any dresses. I don't have any nieces to send them to either.
The devil does a good job at getting to me when I look at Christmas cards. The other day we received a photo of twin girls in matching dresses. Then I saw a photo of a girl wearing her mother's dress-photos that show how much the daughter looks like her mother. The letters with some of the cards that announced pregnancies-some of those have so many children that they don't honestly know how they are going to add one more to the family.
I've tried to focus on other things. The same day that I saw the mother/daughter photo, I also heard a family member is pregnant and on bedrest. That was an answer for me-I can make a care package for her to pass the time for her more quickly. She is due with her first and this care package will be really fun to put together. Also that same day an e-list I'm on asked for advice of books to buy for her daughter. I responded with books I loved as a girl and would buy if I had a daughter.
I shopped in the store and online to buy a dress for my goddaughter. I found it isn't easy to find a modest, cute, dress for an eight year old. I finally settled on one and sent it to her, but it wasn't what I had in mind.
I reread He Remembers the Barren book. I wrote an entry for their writing contest and will submit it soon.
I did a little extra for our church's preschool Christmas party so our preschool director with three young children didn't have to do so much.
I helped with the Sunday School Christmas program. I'm planning on teaching Sunday School the next couple of weeks to give a break to the regular teachers.
I've tried to focus on our own family's Christmas celebration. I have been blessed with Ram and 3 Lambs and I need to enjoy Christmas with them instead of wishing for another Lamb to join us. Our tree is up and outside and inside is all decorated. This was no easy task as we are in a new home and had to figure out where everything goes. After living in cold MN, we put up lights outside for the first time in our marriage. I put up some decorations that have not been put up since Lamb 1 was born-the Lambs are old enough to be careful with some more decorations. I have never been done decorating this early. The Christmas cards are sent out. I have baked Christmas cookies-a few kinds each week in December and shared them at church activities. The presents are all wrapped. Because all these Christmas preparations are done, I'm able to pay attention at the final Advent and Christmas church services.
The stockings are hung. This was a big sign for me-our new fireplace mantel has 5 spots for stockings for our family members. I'm sure I could figure out what to do with the stockings if God did bless us with another child, but for now our family is complete.
So devil, you can tempt me with Christmas cards and letters. I know that my life is richly blessed especially with Ram and 3 Lambs. I am a baptized child of God. Jesus has conquered the devil. Even if I never have a daughter or another son, God will provide for my every need. The fireplace mantel plainly shows that I am very blessed.
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