Trusting God

Now that I'm pregnant and also trying to drink lots of water, I go to the bathroom A LOT. I saw the ultrasound of one of our babies that was just fine one week and the following week we lost that baby. I've had 3 miscarriages. Due to the nightmares of those and some other issues in previous pregnancies, I get nervous EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I go to the bathroom when I am pregnant. Before we lost our third baby, I always thought that seeing the ultrasound would be enough to calm me down that everything was well with baby. I have not had an ultrasound with this pregnancy. Seeing an ultrasound is not enough to calm me down any more. I believe I will calm down more after the baby in my womb has outlived all 3 of our babies in heaven, but it will be in the back of my mind until I am holding Lamb 4 in my arms.
I have done a little research about my blood clotting disorder called Factor II. After my little research it is amazing to me that it was so easy for me to get pregnant 7 times and even more amazing that we have 3 healthy boys. It is amazing that during each of the pregnancies/births/postpartums of all 3 boys I had very few problems. Sometimes I wonder "What if I would have known I had Factor II before any of my pregnancies?" Maybe it is better that I was naive about the whole situation and when I wasn't sick with morning sickness I enjoyed my first pregnancy without the facts about Factor II in the back of my mind. I would have totally freaked out when I had spotting with Lamb 2 if I would have known about Factor II then. But perhaps Lamb 3 would have gained more weight if I would have known about Factor II then. It doesn't really matter because the fact is that we have 3 healthy boys and now I have the knowledge that I have this for this pregnancy and any future pregnancies.
The Lambs really want another sibling, preferably a sister. They completely trust that in November they will have a sibling. They are completely naive that we could lose the baby before then. I know that if we would lose the baby, they would completely trust that it is in heaven and not grieve it too much-other than the fact that they lost the hope of getting a dollhouse and girl toys in our house in November. I can not be completely naive about the situation like they are, but I can trust in God.
Starting the next time I go to the bathroom, I am going to recite Bible verses and pray about this situation. Think of how many times I will recite Bible verses and all the prayers I will say over the next 240 days! That sounds like a much better way to spend all those trips to the bathroom instead of worrying.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1