Saturday, February 6, 2010

Family Size

I have been thinking a lot about the comment from the wives of Ram's dad's business contacts that were shocked when Ram's mom said we were pregnant with #4. I'm wondering if it is a generational idea that #4 is a huge family today. My uncle was shocked when I commented to him once that we were hoping that we weren't done at 3. I thought about our married friends-mostly my college friends and Ram's friends. I'm going to list them by the mom's initials in order to be kind of anonymous but I'm sure you can figure out some of these and perhaps you will even be listed. I am not listing Loopers, just other friends. These are mostly college and seminary friends, with a few others listed too.
Mother's first and last initial/number of children
K.R. 5
J.T. 5 (including 1 adopted)
R.K.-#4 due in June
S.W. 2 (not sure if done yet)
L.W. wants children but unable to have any yet
J.H. working on adopting #2
S.G. 3 (I think done for health reasons, but not sure)
S.K. 2 (done for health reasons)
J.H. 2 (done for health reasons)
H.G. 3 (done for health reasons)
K.B. 3 (done for health reasons)
B.F. 2 (done for health reasons)
R.H. 9 (if I counted right!) (I couldn't resist listing her.)
H.P. 4 (done for health reasons)
S.T. 2 (not sure if done yet)
A.U. 4 (I think)
E.B. 3 (done for health reasons)
You will see from this list that 3 seems to be the average but 4 and 5 aren't unusual. Many of those with 2 or 3 would like more but can't. The other interesting thing is all but 2 of these that I listed are full time SAHM (a few have jobs like scrapbook consultant, but don't work outside the home in a 9-5 job). Perhaps the wives of Ram's dad's business contacts are in the generation that expected to have 2 children and work full time and not stay at home? Perhaps I'm reading into this too much because maybe they just expected our family to be like Ram's family and have 3. But after thinking about this for a few days, I don't think 4 or even 5 is unusual. I do still think 6 is a large family-perhaps because they won't all fit in the minivan! What do you think? Do most of your friends have 3 or more children?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Ewe! I am sooo HAPPY for you and Ram and the little lambs! I have been praying for you and that there would be a little lamb #4. The ultrasound pic is beautiful! I have one of babysitter when she was 6 weeks, and have it framed, sitting in her room. SEEING the heartbeat is the most incredible thing.

I will continue to pray for you. Pray for us as we are trying to give TJ a sibling. (we miscarried 2 wks ago; sad, but still hopeful) In the fall you will have a beautiful baby. It will be ok if your measure small for your pregnancy. Hopefully, I will make up for it like last time!

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Around here we average around three or four. I know my own mother thought we should stop at two--she was a little shocked when we got pregnant with Emma. I don't think you're looking into it too much at all--I think it's a generation thing. The beauty of this relationship between man and wife that God has given us is the ability to form your own family. Where two kids may be enough for one family, six may be enough for the next. It's all in God's plan, after all, right?

Dakotapam said...

The in laws were not thrilled when we told them we were pregnant this last time, I believe the quote was "I don't know what to say". They changed their tune when they found out we were having twin girls...their only granddaughters.

My mom was happy for us. Families on Mom's side are larger...my grandma wanted six, but only had four since she started late. Mom remembered that when we got married I wanted six kids. After the four boys I thought I was done. I'm glad Matt talked me into one more:)

Six does not seem like so much yet...We have to take two cars to church...but we did that before the babies...we even take two vans camping. Our kids are spread out also. By the time the girls are in preschool, Andrew will be leaving for college.

I think people who work outside the home tend toward smaller families. Daycare is so very expensive. I was going to go back to work for one 12 hour shift a week, but knew that with two babies I could not even do one day a week. We save a lot more money by my staying home. I'm trying to make some money writing, however...

Joelle said...

Hi - I'm randomly on your blog again :)

Fun for me to be able to figure out who the first 3 people were - and then me also, of course. I'm used to big families - I'm one of 5, Matt was 1 of 4, my mom had 6 siblings, my fil has 9 siblings. I always thought I wanted a lot of children, but I think 2 will be plenty :) It is up to God after that :) I have noticed I do something unusual when I see large families - depending if I am in Idaho or in the midwest. In the Midwest I don't think it is anything unusual, but if I see a big family out here, I immediately think the family must be LDS! Doesn't that seem terrible??!!? A friend at church who has 5 kids says she feels like getting a shirt that says, "We're Lutheran, not LDS" for when she's at the mall. She can feel the stares from people (and she looks like she is in her early 20s instead of mid 30s, so people probably think she started REALLY young!!

When do you find all your time to blog????? I'm finally getting around to doing a few posts for Feb. I'm a slacker, I know :)